datca

what a fabulous little place. i was there when we canoed for 60 kms for 3 days- we swam in datca waters, in isolated bays, fighting waves that appeared threatening to canoes alone. but datca on land is sweet, quaint and because it is relatively more difficult than other places in terms of getting there, it remains less touched. the waters are clear and green, sand is actually pebble-y and the water is far from warm. i laughed long and hard once in and felt disoriented once out. can't wait to post some pictures.

walking for a reason

1st May was fabulous. years of not being able to march and now the second year the Turkish people have been allowed to walk in comfort and for their rights- it was marvellous. no wonder i like football matches- crowds of more than 60,000 coming together for one cause is a feeling of power and of union. it was quite a yogic moment for me. for someone who didn't grow up here which is why i don't carry the wounds of the past, it was still moving to see thousands moved.



and the next walk will be this sunday for the "filters" occurring on the internet. life is not becoming any easier.

when friends visit

it was lovely to have friends from the States over. i hadn't seen archana for 5 years and jana i had never met but everything clicked into place. i guess living alone has advantages and disadvantages, i realised how lonely it could get because i fed off the wonderful company they gave me. they had a chance to see the wonders and dynamism istanbul offered and the peace that small town selcuk gave them. and it was tough having them leave. very tough. i miss them very much. i also realised how much i missed living in the States. it has never been easy to be split in different directions.

prayer to goddess durga

durge smurta
harsi bheetim
ashe shajuntoho
swastahe smurta mati mati va
subhandadhasi
daridhrya dukha bhaya
harinakadhvadaniya
survopakarr karanaya
sadhardrachitta
sarvomangala mangalaye
shivesarvartha saadhike
karaniye trambhake gauri
narayani namostute

om shanti shanti shanti

for the japanese,
for mother nature to restore her balance quickly

i loved beirut

it felt like i was travelling back in time, back to pakistan.
the sadness of war and the optimisim of new roads and buildings, the mini-skirts alongside covered women driving in traffic, the helpful homeless, the old well-kept mercedes taxis, the same old bargaining which is annoying but it earns you respect, the smlies on the faces of the military among tiny children on roller blades and tricycles, the good coffee and tourists we kept seeing once every 4 hours...it was a wonderful picture of diversity, an acceptance of history and a choice that there was nothing but hope to hope for.

cirque du soleil

bu aralar kulturel faaliyetlerimde bir artis var. uzak durmusum gibi geldi- opera, hindi zahra ve dun cirque du soleil. once haberler geldi gumrukte isiklar ve ayakkabilari takildigi icin londra ve paris'teki gosterileri gibi olmamis. sonra burcuyla konustum, cok eglenmis ve performans inanilmazdi dedi. haftaici ve yagmurlu istanbul'da beklenmedik bir sekilde cok rahat gittik. cansuyla heyecanliydik, yerlerimiz sahneden cok uzak degildi, goruntu mukemmel, icerdeki hava durumu normal ve yanimizda misir patlamasi. acayip sevdim renkli insanlari, muzigi, sahneyi, atlamak ziplamak istedim boyle. cansu'nun yaninda bir kac gazli teyze, benim yanimda 10 yasinda surekli konusan cocuklar. gaz olayi baya kotuydu, parfumler fisfisladik, huzurumuz biraz bozuldu. ama sahnedeki olaylar insan disiydi, tanrisal gucunu bariz bir sekilde agizim acik izledim. ondan da buyuleyiciydi. burda bir sir, bir perde yoktu. ordan ayrilmak kolay degildi. sahnedeki herkesle bir kahve filan icseydik, tanissaydik dedim icimden..

donemsel izleme

iste PMS olunca bana boyle bi "oturayim iki saniye" oluyorum ama o iki saniye uzuyor. hindistan'da sivananda'nin kitaplarindan birinde kadinlar regle olurken, olmak uzereyken, icleri cok daha meditatif oluyormus. yani gorusumuz cok daha yalin ve gun icinde kendimizi kaybettigimiz anlar azaliyormus. regle zamanlarinda kendimizle bir oluyormusuz. erkeklerde bu olmuyormus. kendimizle yuzlesme anlari bu donemlerde daha kolay. ondan regle olmak bir nimet, bu donemlerde dramatik olabiliyorum ama yinede o sessizlik bana iyi geliyor.