bu dogum gunu biraz farkli

enisteniz dogum gunlerine cok onem vermiyormus. bence veriyor. almak istedigi, yapmak istedigi, yapmak istemedigi seylerin hepsi dogum ayim deyip istedigi gibi yasiyor. bizimki oyle. ben dogum gunumu kutlama delisi degilim ama hatirlanmasi guzel bir duygu veriyor. coktan beri konusmadigim, iste koptugum insanlar mesaj atiyor filan. iyi geliyor.
Stu'nun dogum ayi bu sene Merkur gerilemesine denk geldigi icin hediyesi Mart ortasi alinacak. bir bisiklet. birlikte gezelim diye ve gobeklerimizi eritmek icin. ya da onun gobegini eritmek icin bir yontem, bahanesi cok. aklim duruyor. bahane uretmek bir maarefet. tatli ama yaaa, bahanesiyle bile tatli. onunla birlikte calisan biri ona kek yapti eve kadar getirdi, pek begenmedi ilk tattiginda ama sonra gidip gelip yarisini yemis oldu. bu erkekler enteresan. yastik almaya gittik, hic birini begenmedi ama almak icin israr ettim. bu sabah yastiklar harika dedi.
bunu ogrendim: kendi inandigim seyi soylerim, tartismam. artik. evet evet kocam bana bunu ogretti. zaten fikrini degistirecek, degistirdigini kabul etmeyecek ondan rahatca izlemeye karar verdim. dogru olmak mi onemli, ic huzurumu korumak mi?
hayatinda babasi pek hediye almamis. ilk defa bisiklet projesi icin babasina hadi paylasalim bu hediyeyi dedim. babasinin dogum gunu Stununkinden iki gun once. dun aradik kendisini, babasi bisiklet plani konusunda heyecanliydi. ne zaman alacaksin sordu. dogum gununde soyleyecegim ama merkur gerilemede oldugu icin Mart ortasi aliriz dedim.
Stu da artik bu huylarimi kabul etmis durumda galiba.

yay! i have my first job in this continent!

my second week finished doing account receivables at Tiwi Islands Shire. i had always done account payables back in Turkey but here i am following debtor activity. well i guess not that different from what i did at the bank in Istanbul. different system, different routine, different people. i am liking it. it's subbing for a legendary gal who is out safari-ing in Africa for six weeks. the aussies take long vacations, that's the way it should be.
here at the office i noticed at the get go that there were no plants. i always have to have something living in my office space. i have had a turtle, fish and crawly plants in every professional environment i have been in. even in part time jobs. something about having a plant, or even a rock grounds me, makes me happy to have a companion while working.
in the absence of plants here is what two funny ladies presented to me last week.

i heard michelle and renee giggling and squawking at the back. they even came to rummage through stationery behind me but i was pretty surprised to see the installation. it was so elaborate too! they had given a 3D effect to it by sticking accordion like attachments to the bird, sun and pot so it was all juxtapositioned perfectly in front of each other. very unexpected.
i got what i wished for, flowers in my office space.

Top End Vixen's role in our life

we have had to take care of Vixen for 2 weeks now. another two weeks to go. it hasn't been the easiest since she has had to get used to two strange strangers- one a nutty brit kiwi in the Top End and me the multi-faceted paki-turk- american mutant. first we thought we could win her with pink lady apples and crunchy carrots. that idea lasted a week. then we figured she needed more riding and was very pleased when Sarah rode her. but Vixen continued to be irritable and agitated. even her jealous neighbour Polka would snap at her when she was walked out of the stall. Polka is as her name suggests dotted with black spots and funnily enough has white and blue specks in her eyes.

how does a horse show irritation? she refused to wear her bridle for one. all she wanted was her feed. i am in charge of the feed, it is like my morning oatmeal so i am pretty good at it. or so i would like to think. she would stomp and stomp and stomp until her head was buried in food. 

Vixen had ripped her fly jacket in her moments of boredom i theorize. we got it fixed by a thai lady in town. it was a great feeling putting the jacket on Vixen because she was so sweet and quiet during the entire event that i thought something is changing. or is it?

even Stu said i think this is a turning point. 

that fly jacket has calmed her considerably. amidst the peacocks, cockatoos and magpies, the flies probably have driven her up the wall. no fan or long tail to whack did it, the ninja fly jacket did.

waking up at 06.00 every morning was tough for the first few days. we pass out like 80 year olds at 10.00 pm from exhaustion. the diehard urban horse babysitters we are....now it is easier. Vixen has not just brought  early rising into our lives, we get to witness more beauty and quiet here in the Top End.

sevgi zor olmamali

degisim insana zor geliyor, yapilmadan da ilerlemek mumkun degil.
sevgi alis verisi de kendimizi sevmeden akmiyor.
bu sureci atlatmak icin kendimizi sevmek ve degisimden korkmamak gerek zannedersem.
bu da kabullenmekle basliyor.

a quote my friend Jana shared with me

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open." - Martha Graham

what the Top End animals have taught me

the wildlife course has changed me and made me a better person. more aware than ever before. it was the last wildlife class this week and we were at a VET clinic where animals were treated, rehabilitated and released back to their homes once healed. it was a joy to see the frilly with the broken leg in our first class all good as new and ready to get out there and run again. we saw a juvenile kite and a young kookaburra. there was a sad tree snake that was severely dehyrdated and was put in water to get back to health. we saw wrak  the cockatoo greeting us as we walked in! all the wildlife have so much to contribute to our lives and their place is not in captivity, it's in the skies, on the ground, swimming and wading in waters. i have been lucky in being able to connect with them and get to know them better. it has made me love my life even more.

Irem is a  natural teacher. I had been doing yoga for years before taking Irem's classes but never really 'got it'.  With inspiration from Irem and lots of interesting breathing exercises, I finally feel that I am getting a lot out of my yoga practice and classes.  Very highly recommended! 

AL