eren ulkesine donuyor

hosgeldiiiin eroyn!


what a strange weekend i had. first a cocktail where nobody introduced anybody to anyone, then a yogic party where i knew hardly anyone and ended up dancing the tango with a random person and a pool day coupled with a massage and some rain.

i have to say with the way it was packed in i was pretty thrilled.

but first comes first. what is it with the ettiquette nowadays. i mean even in cocktails in pakistan people introduce each other to folks who have just joined the circle. here we all are, professionals in some of the most elite circles and eccentric people like me just watching and learning... i am not threatening am i? i taught myself to introduce myself in Turkey, not in the U.S. the only people who have taken the initiative to introduce me has been my boss and my very close friends. it is a detail that cannot be skipped. once skipped over, not done, forgotten, the unintroduced person in this case, me, do not just get offended, it is a defining moment in the nature of that relationship. forget ettiquette...remember simple respect?

next was the party with friends whom i met at my yoga classes. i have always liked height- flying up high, jumping off planes, glass elevators going upto whatever floor, rollercoasters that drop 100 m, tall men...just high. here we were on the 10th floor of a great looking apartment sipping on some raki and having some cheese. oh and listening to michael jackson. now here were some aware people. noone was griping about him having some "boy" issues or hanging his kid over the balcony or making some bad choices about skin color, we were hanging out and enjoying the music he left behind. i entered the apartment and someone in an announcing tone of voice said the entertainment for the night had been set- there was going to be some latino dancing, some tango and something else i did not hear. i got stuck at the tango part. i immediately raised my hand and said i can tango. i Obviously had to get ready. in my head i mean. with old navy flipflops and a room full of people i knew only 20% of, i had PR work to do. y'know get to know the crowd and learn to relax in it.

the raki had done its trick. the breeze on the 10th floor had done its magic. chit chat about astrology had me familiar with interests (besides ashtanga yoga of course). the host put the music on and swooped i felt into a dance. a year and a half of no dancing and it felt good. how had i not danced for as long as i had? a question i am still asking myself this morning.

with the excitement wrapped in the tango lingering over into the next day, i said my goodbyes to crystal and scott and 7 kitties to be with my kiwi buddy and his daughter by the pool. little did i know that if you get a massage at the kempinski, the pool and spa facilities are yours to enjoy for the whole day. brunch at abracadabra, shopping for a bikini, then walking to kempinski in flipflops (yes the same ones), i surrendered myself to the massage. the therapist used ylang ylang oil using reflexology, shiatsu, acupressure, some thai massage and aromatherapy to bring me into total alignment. i felt like i was whole in that hour. i wasn't going in and out of consciousness, not wishing i was somewhere else, not daydreaming...i was completely there, the most whole i have been in weeks i think for that long. whole is happiness. it s a tricky feeling to feel. everyone has that feeling i am sure but its almost like when you hold your breath and there's nothing going on, nothing at all. you just are. that's whole.

it was a whol-ifying weekend. everything happened one at a time (just as it always does but nothing was rushed this time), just like these cute ducks in nashville.



artik pot mi kiriyorum ya da self- confidence mi biraz kaciriyorum bilmiyorum ama insanlari rahatlatmak istiyorum. ciddi toplantilardaki tolerans seviyem 2 saat artik. ondan 2 saat gecince asabim bozuluyor. gecenlerde patronumla bir kurumla toplanti yapiyorduk ve bizi bir etkinlige davet ettiler. patronum gidemeyecekti, irem gelir dedi. ben de kurumun baskan'ina "gelecegim ama patronum gibi olmam mumkun degil, peruk takarim belki ama herhalde o da olmaz".

evet burda diyecegim birsey yok gercekten.

bugun eren'le michael jackson'i anarken bir partiye gitmis ve ilk defa tanistigi cocuga yumruk yapip "fight the power" demis.

evet boyleyiz.

vedalasma kokteyle gidiyorum ve giden baskan'a turkiye'yi andaracak muzik aldim- burhan ocal ve michael jackson. evet evet michael'i aldim. nerdeydin michael'i kaybettigimizde soruldugu zaman, turkiye'deydim diyebilecek. unutmasini istemiyorum. belki kokteyl'de "don't stop till you get enough" soyleyebilirim...

hayatta ciddi cogu zaman oluyorum ama bazen herhalde onu cok fazla tutamiyorum. niyet temiz, insanlarla paylasim, tanismak, sohbet...iste bazen samimiyet istiyorum ve karsidaki hazir olmamis oluyor. bu sene vipassana yapacagim herhalde- 10 gunluk sessizlik, konusma olmayan bir ortamda meditasyon.

michael jackson

i am speechless.

i wasn't expecting him to go this soon.

my conversations this morning have started with "he's dead".

eren was listening to him in london while i did the moonwalk at work today. everywhere i have been he has been with me- from the "beat it" days to the "black and white" days to "you rock my world".

my boss answered the phone and knew what i was talking about when i asked, "you know what has happened?!"

"yes jackson is dead"


hackerlar beni buldu

hackerlar aramislar arastirmislar, kim bize en iyi sponsorluk yapar sormuslar veee beni bulmuslar. hz. isa'nin sozlerini, ve tum bilgileri nasil paylasilir, evet indrani'nin blogu bunu en iyi sekilde isimizi gorur demisler.

ne alaka ya...

okuyanlardan rica, bu site acilirsa ^"contact us" ikondan onlara diyecekleriniz varsa buyrun, beni yeterince dinlemis degiller. bunlari kime sikayet etmeliyim de bana fikir verirseniz sevinirim.



atilmak uzere sirada olan eskiyenleri dikkatli secmeli. eskidikce deger kazanan esya cok. o degeri bilen tek biziz, baska biri deger koydugu zaman farkli bir boyuta geciyor. mesela dusundugum zaman organlarim eskiyor ama yoga yaparak degerini saglam tutarak aslinda degerini yukseltmis oluyorum. ayni sey annemin ayakkabilari, eski kumaslar ve onunla yaptirdigim elbiseler, antika esyalar ve eski fotograflar.

ondan antika ve eski yerlerde gozlerim mutlu oluyor.


florida sun and the nashvegas twang

a week and some has flown by. (try to read this with the southern accent, it's real fun.) seeing camp chiefs, some after 7 odd years was truly memorable. i was a little nervous...people change, priorities change but once i was among them i realised somethings never change. the love doesn't change. possibly after time the love just grows.

what does one do in florida? one rents out a boat preferably a pontoon boat and has fun people to go swimming in the springs with. if you are lucky see a manatee. we spotted one next to our boat. the 3 sisters spring was gorgeous. but first a little about the day in the sun. 15 chiefs get on the pontoon and each time ch. roz puts a little gas into our ride this high pitched screeching sound cramps our style. we call it in, wait for an hour to get it checked out, the verdict is water in the oil, we wait for a half hour to get a replacement pontoon before we head out to the springs.

3 sisters springs is one of the those places the locals would only know. you cannot even spot it but you know you are close with all the boats hanging around the spot. a little opening, a strong current and a difficult swim upstream gets you to an aweinspiring green and turquoise waters. it's cold.

we head back and decide to cruise the channel in crystal river. there are chiefs upfront, on the deck, talking about property values in palm beach...we are snacking on scrabble cheese-its, ch. maribeth is napping behind the cooler...and suddenly a huge crash. there's nothing in front of us to crash into. two of the chiefs on the deck are overboard and a stunned ch. cherri is pointing in opposite directions to swim away from the boat. the boat is immediately reversed. everyone is stunned. the overboard chief kodi suddenly gets up and the water is ankle deep. we had hit rocks and there had been no signs for it. chief fran is on a rock and is yelling how slimy the water is. scrapes and bruises is what is left of the boat experience.

florida is also a place for theme parks. one of my favorite is busch gardens. i had been obsessing forever and josh and i hadn't been able to go because of thundershowers. i had only 5 days in florida and one of those days HAD to be a busch gardens day. i found the enthusiastic and theme park nut ch. jolynn to go with. we went on sheikra which was real short and intense. we decided it wasn't enough excitement so we went on it again. in the front as always. we had an understanding about riding in the front. right after sheikra was kumba which tumbled my insides out and made chief jolynn pale. but we kept GOING. i said the scorpion ride would be a piece of cake but i couldn't even find my balance once off the ride. jolynn said i looked green.

we didn't quit. we had ice cream and kept going.

great day that day. rollercoasters help you face fears concerning death and fears revolving around trust issues. one has no choice but to trust the people behind the controls and the universe for keeping you safe. great day for drilling that into my soul.

headed out to nashville. saying goodbye to gale, 3 hours later reconnecting with chandelle, my yogini friend whom i met in india at the ashram... an hour after that alan came into town for a t.v show he was going to be interviewed at the day after. the only way i could process this was to go for sushi. i had had sushi and saki the night before to process leaving florida and the insanity of rollercoasters...and now sushi again to help me live through emotions of not having seeing friends for so many years.

chan and i began yapping almost immediately. sadie her human friend (she doesn't want me to say 'dog') woke me up this morning wanting us to get up already! alan's presence was wonderful. having 2 of my closest friends in the same room was not what i was expecting. i wasn't expecting to see alan as soon as i did.

alan and i went to his taping of his interview with john siegenthaler. what an impressive man- modest, knowledgable and respected. he was given way too much attention as far as getting his foundation evenly distributed on his face but i guess that is what fame brings you- everyone wants to spend more time with you SOME way. i sat in the controls room watching alan in 4 different screens. i cried a little. i was telling alan how one does see anothers face while talking but because you are engaged in conversation you don't necessarily watch the mimics of their face. here as an observer alan just seemed so familiar and i was proud to have been sharing this moment with him. we rode off to chattanooga right after the show to see his friends out there. he only aspect of chattanooga i liked was their bridges and the fact that they were blue in color.

i know the UEFA cup finals was one of the happiest moments of my life. there have been other moments like my first ever visit to a planetarium. so was seeing chan and alan.