i have been thinking about success lately, about what it means to be successful. everyone wants to be successful but not many want to pay the price to get from point a to point b. i was chatting with my awesome boss today and we talked about how it is important to be recognized for what you do or create to be deemed successful. just saying "i am successful" in your head is not enough. and i think he is right.

i read john maxwell almost everyday because he is an amazing inspirational person and he says in one of his talks that one can be successful only to a certain point and then it becomes important to be significant- in terms of making a difference in people's lives. i know that what motivates me to get up each morning liking my life and wanting to live it is my desire to make a difference in people's lives as i change myself. noone is going to change me but me alone. and it has to be a conscious decision every single day.


rajasthan and its magic

india and the whirlwind

the travel itinerary was perfect, or so i thought. i wanted to make sure we hit the right spots and using the best resources. here's the schedule i came up with:

istanbul- delhi flight 6.5 hours
delhi- agra by train (as soon as we landed): 3 hours
stay a night and hop on agra- jaipur train: 7 hours
stay 2 nights and go to ajmer by train 2.5 hours
stay 2 nights in ajmer and go to pushkar as well, then head off to jodhpur by bus: 5 hours
stay 1 night in jodhpur and go to delhi by train: 11 hours
stay a day in delhi and fly back to istanbul: 6.5 hours

that's a total of 41.5 hours of travel in 8 days and hitting 6 cities.

now that's what i call madness and i didn't realise it until we were doing it.

the great thing was karma and the universe was on our side because india who is notorious for delays was perfect each step on the way. and with a little effort from our side we did not have too many cases of people taking our seats or hassling us too much. friendly people they are who i believe have been taught to say "hello" and "do you need help" as soon as they are able to speak. we saw a deaf couple when we were travelling and thought how interesting it might be to only watch and only feel the vibration caused by the honking, and watching faces, colours and smells...

we travelled rough but compensated for the fatigue by staying in nice havelis (indian mansions where entire families stay), ate food that overwhelmed the taste buds and window-shopped and walked streets that did not believe in sidewalks. we shared everything with camels, cows, monkeys, dogs, scooters, bikes, cars and buses.

india is special. no doubt about it. every second was worth the mental and physical exhaustion. it was both very human and yet very sub-god-like for the potential we saw in ourselves... the potential to be the best person you can be.


feeling right in your skin

i am going to india with my best pal eren this friday. it's like i am almost saying i am going away for the weekend, but india just feels so comfortable, like my own skin. but then again there is excitement and that is going to feel like my skin getting a makeover. i know india creates shifts within and one can only feel it once back. i am going to feel it when getting a manicure or something like that. it's suddenly going to hit me and it could be something as unprofound as:
"i am alive".

i am glad to be alive in the skin i am in...this time around at least.


kendine inanmak demek- bence- yapmak istedigin herseyi 100% yasamak
pismanlik sifir
inancla bir adim atmak basarina dogru goturur
inanc bir sonraki ondan sonraki adimi attirir ve icindeki gucunu harekete sokar
inanc kendi dogrularini kendine kanitlar

ben kendime inaniyorum
ve kendine inanmak isteyen ve inanan insanlarin aralarinda olmak istiyorum
inancsiz bir hayat zor olur diye dusunuyorum (zaten zor ama zorlastirir)


this whole terrorism concept

i mean the suicide bomber incident right on taksim square where i usually say my goodbyes to whomever (it's the usual parting spot), it subliminally shook me up. i was nowhere near the incident. i was walking out in sultanahmet on a clear sunny day when a friend received news that there had been a blast. the fact that it was a human being with 2 detonating objects on him came a few hours later. and it led me to have some real disturbing dreams that same night. i woke up an emotional wreck the next day and it happened to be monday.

i have done so well protecting myself from media, from television, i have been able to turn the page on newspapers with morbid photos, done well looking away at headlines that start with "death..." that anything that is remotely violent shakes me to the core. and the freaky thing is my astrologer had predicted this last month...

i don't want to be this sensitive and then again i don't want to be de-sensitized either. it's not like violence is going to end, because i know there is a balance we don't see. it's not easy to make sense of it all.

hair mafia

bu sene neye tesekkur etmem gerektigini kendime sormam gerekiyorsa o da hair mafia'daki ahmet'in varligina demem gerekiyor. o bir sac tasarim gurusu. cunku (cok basitce):

ne istedigini dinliyor
genel istediklerini dinledikten sonra profesyonelce kesiyor
muhabbeti tuhaf ve eglenceli
ortam eglenceli ve muzik icini baymiyor
sac yikama bir azap degil (su damlar, sicrar, boynun agririr filan onlar yok)
yaratilan tasarim yuze, saca ve karaktere tam oturan
radikal tasarim yapabilir ama seni okuyabiliyor ve seni zorlamiyor
guven veriyor
harika gozukmeni istiyor, siradan bir insan olmadigin icin siradan bir sac kesimi yapmiyor

eski piyano, siyah masalar, aynalar yuvarlak, eski bir bavuldan cikan fon makinalar, hair mafia televizyonu ama sinekler var ekranda. ortam cezbediyor. hele google yapip websitesine bir goz atildiginda bakiyorsun ahmet bir manifesto yazmis. meditasyon yapar, yurtdisinda yasamis ve sac tasarimi konusunda istanbul'da kendisine ait bir aurasi var.

kotu sacim olmus gecmiste onu anladim.
kesemeyen adama cok gitmisim onu anladim.
hepsi de sagolsun ahmet sayesinde.