5.27.2013

keeping it together with a bully

i have always and i am serious about this, always known that working with a bully and keeping it together will be cleansing some unknown yucky karma. there is much to learn from them. both bullies i have worked with and been bullied by have been women and it is fuelled by intense jealousy and hatred for their own life. so yes coping with rudeness, passive aggressiveness, loud whispers to other colleagues that are meant to hurt, degrading comments start with understanding their behaviour...i have been in this position and i know that once you confront it with dignity and poise the path opens up to new possibilites.

for example the first professional bully i was with the job required extensive travel. once she did not want to pay for my room so i had to share the king size bed with her and her 14 year old son. she would also ask me to manage clients who wanted escorts and she did not want to deal with them. sometimes she refused to pay me. the second bully was more a whisperer. she whispered loudly to another colleague about how i slurped when i drank my tea and endlessly used profanity for 7.6 hours especially rude if i made an error that she forgot was made because she told me to do it that way. i was not hallucinating, friends at the office said she had become unbearable. and more folks are moving their desks away. yes i am still here.

it is a cliche i know, this whole "testing your patience" aspect but it is bigger than that. even a look of disapproval, voicing your own values real short and sweet, basically playing the game without ruffling feathers is empowering. you walk away knowing a karmic manifestation to teach your soul an important lesson has been resolved. and if it does not get resolved it will come back to bite a bit harder. the enveloping negativity and "this should not be happening to me" syndromes can be wiped away by kapalbhatti, mantras you like that can be repeated in your head (so-hum and aum are brilliant), copious amounts of green tea and a plan. i strategized to leave the first time around by committing to learning all i could from that business and moving on which i did. the second time around i moved to a desk far away when the time was right. trust the movement of time once a decision of action is made. patience is no good if there is no direction. and the direction needs to be one of personal growth and to exercise more compassion.

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