hiz

bir cok seyi kaciriyorum gibime geliyor. o kadar hizli yasiyorum ki. gun icinde isteki olaylar, is cikisi binlerce insanlar arasinda hayatimin akisini saglamak icin degisik yerlerde kapi kapi duraklamak- kuru temizlememi almak, arkadasimla corba icmek, terzime gidip kiyafetimin provasini yapmak, bina yoneticime ugramak...

yatagima girdigimde ah kitap okumam gerekiyor yoksa tempomu kaybederim diye isigi acip kitabima devam ediyorum. "Three Cups of Tea" bitirdim ve 1 hafta kitabi okurken bu kadar agladigimi hatirlamiyorm. "A Fraction of a Whole" kitabinda da ciddi bir sekilde de gulmustum. yaz aylari yavas gecer diye umuyordum ama oyle olmadi- cok yakin bir arkadasim Israil'e Ibranice ogrenmeye gitti, onunla spinning derslerine gidiyordum cok ozluyorum onu, is icin manyak gibi uctum her yere, bir arkadasim evleniyor, baska biri 30 yasina girdi, ben onumuzdeki 6 aylik suremi planliyorum, Peru seyahatim yaklasiyor, sacimin uzamasini istiyorum artik, kalbimin hizla heyecanla atmasini istiyorum filan ve atti gibi, kurabiye yapip evimin kokusunu degistiriyorum...dolu bir hayat ve kendime guvenden baska birsey yok. bi de bu yaz bir motora bineyim ruzgari hissedeyim istiyorum.

datca in viewfinder

datca

what a fabulous little place. i was there when we canoed for 60 kms for 3 days- we swam in datca waters, in isolated bays, fighting waves that appeared threatening to canoes alone. but datca on land is sweet, quaint and because it is relatively more difficult than other places in terms of getting there, it remains less touched. the waters are clear and green, sand is actually pebble-y and the water is far from warm. i laughed long and hard once in and felt disoriented once out. can't wait to post some pictures.

walking for a reason

1st May was fabulous. years of not being able to march and now the second year the Turkish people have been allowed to walk in comfort and for their rights- it was marvellous. no wonder i like football matches- crowds of more than 60,000 coming together for one cause is a feeling of power and of union. it was quite a yogic moment for me. for someone who didn't grow up here which is why i don't carry the wounds of the past, it was still moving to see thousands moved.



and the next walk will be this sunday for the "filters" occurring on the internet. life is not becoming any easier.

when friends visit

it was lovely to have friends from the States over. i hadn't seen archana for 5 years and jana i had never met but everything clicked into place. i guess living alone has advantages and disadvantages, i realised how lonely it could get because i fed off the wonderful company they gave me. they had a chance to see the wonders and dynamism istanbul offered and the peace that small town selcuk gave them. and it was tough having them leave. very tough. i miss them very much. i also realised how much i missed living in the States. it has never been easy to be split in different directions.

prayer to goddess durga

durge smurta
harsi bheetim
ashe shajuntoho
swastahe smurta mati mati va
subhandadhasi
daridhrya dukha bhaya
harinakadhvadaniya
survopakarr karanaya
sadhardrachitta
sarvomangala mangalaye
shivesarvartha saadhike
karaniye trambhake gauri
narayani namostute

om shanti shanti shanti

for the japanese,
for mother nature to restore her balance quickly

i loved beirut

it felt like i was travelling back in time, back to pakistan.
the sadness of war and the optimisim of new roads and buildings, the mini-skirts alongside covered women driving in traffic, the helpful homeless, the old well-kept mercedes taxis, the same old bargaining which is annoying but it earns you respect, the smlies on the faces of the military among tiny children on roller blades and tricycles, the good coffee and tourists we kept seeing once every 4 hours...it was a wonderful picture of diversity, an acceptance of history and a choice that there was nothing but hope to hope for.