yeni yilin ilk haftalari

super girdim. bombastika. gecen hafta is yerinde gerginlik ve stresli gunler gecirdik ondan biraz yoruldum ama sonucta hersey yolunda. olmamasi icin bir neden yok! soguk ve kasvetli hava biraz daraltiyor ama mevsimler yasanmali, yollarda buz olmasin yeter diyorum. dun aksam cansu'nun kopegi cano ile tanistim. asik oldum. asik olmaya ozlemisim, olmazdim diye dusunuyordum...belki artik insan varliga asik olmak zor ama cano ayri. cok cok ayri. belki de kendime cok benzettigim icin mi bu kadar yakinlik hissettim?

bazi aklimda kalan anlar:
kucagimda cok rahatti (2005'te filan bir insanin kucagindaydim ve rahat bir yerdi, hic yadirgamadim)
yandan optu ve burnumdan (enteresan secenekler, bende sevdigim birinin burnundan operim)
tostunu sicak severmis
cayini soguk iciyor (sicakligi kaybolduktan sonrada soguk cayi icerim)
rahat bir koltukta uyumaktan hoslaniyor (bende)
ne kadar heyecanli olsa bile cok caktirmiyor (ben bunu yapmaya calisyorum, yolum var daha)
komplekssiz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgpOGLXVHKk&NR=1
ve son olarak alakasiz olabilir ama keith urban'nin parcasi ile kapatiyorum. bu sarki beni mutlu ediyor bu aralar.

hair mafia yine yapti yapacaklarini

beyazlarimi gormuyormusum, gorduklerimi de gormemezlikten. kolaymis bunu yapmak. bunca sene kina kina kina diye bagiran biri olarak artik bu kelimeleri bagirmayacagim cunku boya hayatima girdi. dun.

ahmet senin iyiligin icin yasayan biri. hindistandan once soylemisti ve o zamandan beri de gitmek istiyordum. tam sacimin rengini tutturdu, yani 2 ay sonra sanki alttan farkli bir sac canavari cikiyor gibi olmayacak. boya bitti ve sordum baska yapilacak birsey var mi? bekle dedi, kesim gerekiyor dedi.

ve kesti. insan rahat birakildiginda gercekten guzel seyler uretebiliyor, bilginin kullanilmasi icin, faydasini gorebilmen icin guven tam olmali. herkes gitti geldi muhtesem oldu deyip durdular. banka topantilarina boyle gidebilecekmiyim sordum, gidersin dedi.

ben de tamam dedim.

the new year is upon us

it's here! 2011 is here. it's been a fantastic year of learning- learning from my boss, peers and close friends. and learning doesn't ever finish which is why i have decided to:

(finally) learn how to ski this year
learn how to focus in on subject material in my photography
learn how to communicate and connect with people i meet faster and deeper
learn to be open and explorative and not place judgement

my word this year was absorb
my word next year is going to be expand

hayatim degismekte

degisim ne kadar huzursuzluk verse de degisim gelismek demektir benim icin. degisime acik oldukca da daha anlayisli, esnek ve pozitif oldugumu goruyorum. buna yol acan da beynime giren bilgiler ve dusundugum seyleri degistirmekte sakli. kendi kendime beyin banyosu yapiyorum evet. zihnim acik oldukca da goruyorum ki hayatima sokmak istedigim seylerin yelpazesi inanilmaz genismis ve perspektifim onceden darmis. kucuk adimlarla yavas yavas caktirmadan ama bilincli bir sekilde aliskanliklarimi degistirerek hayatima daha fazla guzellik ve imkan almaya hazirim.

oh be rahatladim. neden bu kadar kasmisim hayret.

taxis in istanbul

i met a sweet lady this past weekend who was overwhelmed with istanbul and it was all because of the scare she got from a taxi driver. it's the taxis out in sultanahmet. they all wait like vultures, don't take locals and take only tourists, and now their most recent scheme is to pretend the 50 TL the tourist gives them is a 5 TL note! the lady said she met 2 other women who had been harrassed and threatened at night coming back from sultanahmet. the taxis also did not leave them at the hotel requested and further away so that they did not get detected by the cameras of the hotel.

so basically they cannot be reported. the women wanted to get out of the car and did not think of getting their license plate. what's more they ended up giving several 50 TL notes until the driver shut up.

now these are some of things that don't just anger me, it embarrasses me. why would anyone want to come back to a place like this after feeling scared and hounded with noone to actually report this to.

i myself have been having issues with taxis- saying they came only 7 TL worth and waited for hours at the stand, that there was too much traffic and they would not go. they would rather not drive and would prefer take people to the airport (sabiha gokcen is best) and that too the long way. some friends of mine and i do it as well call the stand immediately to make them aware of attitudes and i definitely try not to get into taxis that are not from stands.

the taj

success

i have been thinking about success lately, about what it means to be successful. everyone wants to be successful but not many want to pay the price to get from point a to point b. i was chatting with my awesome boss today and we talked about how it is important to be recognized for what you do or create to be deemed successful. just saying "i am successful" in your head is not enough. and i think he is right.

i read john maxwell almost everyday because he is an amazing inspirational person and he says in one of his talks that one can be successful only to a certain point and then it becomes important to be significant- in terms of making a difference in people's lives. i know that what motivates me to get up each morning liking my life and wanting to live it is my desire to make a difference in people's lives as i change myself. noone is going to change me but me alone. and it has to be a conscious decision every single day.