my purpose in life

i send my job applications before lunch everyday, it is the time i am most alert. i get rejections before end of business day from places i applied to in the previous weeks. i go out to my veggie garden to check on progress of my peas, spinach and cauliflower plants. looking good! the carrots have been slow to peek out. my succulents have been happy. there is new growth in parts that i thought were dead. i saw these child pods and i was thrilled!

small victories. and yet the part where i see no movement in my bank account absolutely wrecks me. i pondered over that. this is what i did.

i called a few hospitals to see if they were interested in having a yoga instructor volunteer in their recovery wards. they were not. next day i went for a short run and noticed there was an aged care facility one street away from mine and i walked in there. a week later i had become a yoga volunteer. i was finally at a place where i could contribute. i was nervous. i had given classes to younger patients but not as old as 90. they all look fabulous and cute- the ladies had their lipstick on and  the men were looking smart.

the class made me sweat. we did the bee breath which they loved. they giggled. we did stretches and asanas on our armchairs. we did mudras. there were couple of rebels at the back yelling how stupid all this was but you know what? by the end of class the Oms we chanted had calmed everyone. there was a sweet stillness in that lounge.

that was the moment i knew that i was fine. good intentions are powerful and whatever purpose one walks with is the meaning we aimlessly search for. the key is to not drown in human emotion but to stick to the purpose. there are mornings i feel helpless and hopeless. i feel that emotion completely until i cannot breathe and then with one internal voice i will my thoughts to my purpose. it brings me back to living. it brings me back to talking to my plants. it pushes me forward to find my path in this new city.

when looking for a job in Melbourne

moves are not easy. i have moved countries with only two suitcases. it is easier than interstate moves i think. with interstate you can take almost everything you own, when moving countries you selectively eliminate. it all comes down to what you envision your life to be and what is most important to you. the same logic is one i am applying to my job search. a job gives you a glimpse into what your lifestyle will be like. time though it may heal many things, when one is unemployed time gets to your head if you are not careful. here is how i am keeping time away from eating away at my self- esteem.

gardening.

yup gardening has been a savior here in Melbourne. i had a veggie garden on my vision board and we moved into a house that had a veggie garden!  vision boards rock. the cherry tomatoes were going nuts! i made sauces, gave them away to visitors, presented them as casual appertifs. i was loving it. and then i cleaned it all up for winter vegetables- peas, carrots, cauliflower and spinach. two weeks in they have started to peek out. i have been very excited.

yeah it is the best way to cope after 45 rejection emails. plants respond by growing. i have started to propagate succulents slowly, monitoring them everyday. these beings are just amazing. they are my green pets that just keep on giving.  

here i am Melbourne

February 21st at midnight we touched down in Melbourne soil. it is tough to say this but Darwin had a difficult time letting go of us. i was scammed by fake bond cleaners on the second last day in our Darwin home. i ended up cleaning for eight hours and then was saved by another 'real' bond cleaning company hours before handing in our keys to the real estate agent. the scammers sent a very pregnant lady to clean and we turned her away. scam watch and several facebook police pages had massive alerts about this company. research is important in this day and age!

our electricity was not hooked up because the landlords left the main switch on...you may think it is summer in Melbourne but only during the time the sun is out. when that sun goes down the temperature rapidly drops. we camped out at home for a night. romance shomance with little lanterns, it was bloody cold. they hooked us up on Monday thankfully.

with many more dramatic stories up my sleeve but i shall  spare you, we did escape to Wilson's Prom  in the peninsula of Victoria. absolutely breathtaking. i  miss the Territory vista but the Victorian coastline's sun and clouds' dance is different. Stu took his kite along and we had a grand time. the cottage we stayed at was at Walkerville which is a pleasant drive from everywhere in the area. a fluffy-eared koala hung out in our backyard. kookaburras laughed everyday at dusk. the gorgeous rosellas chatted around the seed bowl at tea time. whiskey beach at Wilson's Prom was our favourite. less popular, more secluded and prettier in my opinion. there was a beach called Squeaky beach and the sand did squeak between your toes. i had cramps in my tummy from laughing so hard. i have never seen anything like it.

what i loved about Sydney

i was surprised i liked Sydney as much as i did. i thought it would be uninteresting and all it had was the Sydney Opera House and the Prime Minister's residence. but it had a fabulous mind blowing Taronga Zoo which is where my heart was captured. the animals loved us! we heard tourists complaining that the lions were not out, the leopard seal was asleep, the bears was boring and the chimps were bored. but wherever we went the animals woke up and were proud to be who they were. even the snow leopard that had not been spotted for ages, our cousin said she had never seen him and it was her third visit was awed when he came out. he stretched and strolled for minutes on end. the seal woke up and came to us roaring. the chimps, young and old were banging and swinging throughout the time we were watching. koalas do not move and here they were jumping from tree to tree and posing when they reached the top.

the metro is well organized and spread through the entire city. the ferries reminded me of istanbul except for the bit about bull sharks hanging out at the harbour....the view from the train crossing the Harbour bridge was lovely. the bridges in istanbul are prettier but that's just bias talking...

and the beaches! i had missed beaches that we could swim in! we live by the water in Darwin but swimming is impossible. the beaches here are magnficient, miles of beach...with crocs waiting for poor legs to feast on. in Sydney the water is safe and swimming in saltiness was heaven.  the weather was a breezy mild hot 28 degrees...there is a coastal walk where you watched the ocean turn from turquoise to navy blue to purple.

now we cannot decide if we want Melbourne or Sydney! apparently Sydney has changed quite a bit. the mayor has put in more bike lanes, alleyways have more cafes and the art scene is expanding. we have some serious decision making to do in the weeks ahead. i think i want Sydney. we are off to Melbourne to check it out again mid- Jan to see which city is calling out to us.

another cycle begins in Australia

eclipses bring pushes to start new cycles. this weekend we told our close friends that we were working towards moving to Melbourne. of course we had a barbeque! obviously Stu stayed up till 2 am prepping his beef and Christmas ham, he loves it...it was back to our  the night befores sunrise ceremony flashback. we stayed up till 4 am preparing breakfast for later last year in July.

here in the NT folks like to spend quality time doing absolutely nothing but chat and watch the clouds for hours on end. we started having friends come around at lunch time and the last guests left at 10 pm. like i said the territory scene is a slow one. we watched the rain come in, the sun set and the lightning show in 10 hours, every bit enjoyable. this i thought was yogic...observe and be.

i  am going to miss friends i have made here. almost half of them are leaving as well! such is Darwin, people come and go. those who stay we shall come back to visit and wish we were back. i am going to miss watching the tide come in, the cockatoos fly home to Charles Darwin Park, our peaceful neighbours in the boats out front and the occasional frog, bush rat and python in the terrace. it has been an outback experience for sure.

Lake Bennett diye bir gol

dogum gunumu butun ay boyunca kutlamaya dusunuyorum. Stu tum Subat boyunca kutladi, bende kutlayacagim. neden olmasin? bir kac ay sonra melburn'da is bulursak oraya tasinacagiz ama firsat buldukca etrafimizdaki guzellikleri de gorme cabasindayiz. haftasonu dogum gunumu kutlamak icin Bennett golune gittik. Darwin'den bir saat uzaklikta- kucuk bungalowlar, kamp yapacak yerler, bir de luks evler var. bir is adami kurumus bir nehiri gole cevirmis ve 30 sene icinde kendi habitatini kurmus ve inanilmaz bir kus cenneti olusmus. burda timsah da cok oldugu icin bize timsah yok demelerine ragmen golde yuzmedik. nedeni de, belli olmuyor gercekten. golden 20 km uzakliktaki selalelerde yuzduk, ayni gun timsah gordukleri icin park'i kapatmislar. burasi guzel ve vahsi. tam crocodile dundee havasi var gercekten.

ask for some help

the wet season is about to begin in Darwin...in two months. until then the high humidity makes hot feel hotter and sweat becomes the messenger of the 'build-up'. so bike rides, walks, bird watching for lengthy periods and outings become less frequent. this is where i get restless. and i tend to take on projects that need more than just me to make it happen. recently i wanted our good ole couch to change colour. 

it was white two years ago when i first came to visit Stu. we decided red would be a lovely vibrant colour that would make the room pop. it came out pink. the colour of our love was our luck for the time being. then we figured red could be tried again but alas either everyone in Darwin is dyeing things red or noone is interested in red dye. so we opted for royal blue. it helps to be flexible.

hello purple couch! dark purple. which is pretty cool when the sun rises right on it and it is relaxing after a days worth of rat race work. i asked for help, it was a big job. a few years ago asking for help was not easy or simple for me. we live in a system of favours where people's jobs become asking for a favour to do actually their jobs; people are busy and anything beyond daily life becomes difficult...it's city life. i know how that is. but i have realised that we cannot, especially as women, do everything.

i asked Stu to dye my hair as well. yup! and he is pretty good. i warn two weeks ahead, i prepare the formula, provide gloves, i part my hair while he paints it on. great teamwork and his eagle eyes searches for greys. i cannot do it alone and i have not come across the perfect hairdresser as yet. my next project is to either learn how to cut my own hair or motivate Stu to learn :)