it was just this moodiness that made dirk and i stick to our mission to explore the city walls starting from eminonu towards the airport. it was a long walk which is why we followed it to yenikapi and called it a day. there is so much to see. eminonu in and of itself is a reminder of what istanbul was in all its glory. the city walls are most intact here and the ones facing the marmara. the rest of them are like broken teeth, new buildings have been replaced or old ones rebuilt or just a gaping hole and nothing on the other side. the railway loyally follows the wall. we walked towards ahirkapi (there are many entrances and each have a name). there were holes and caves that many homeless inhabited and others were a depository for trash. it was sad. we went into Kucuk Ayasofya Camii which was beautiful. it had only recently been restored. the garden was well kept and the breeze was a relief from the heat. what was odd were magazines that had been donated to the camii, they were magazines of kazakhistan and turkmenistan from 2006 collecting dust. books for university examination tests were dusty too. what was the purpose of having these books and magazines in a place of worship and respect was beyond me.
we had lunch on the coastline near yenikapi. fisherman and fish restaurants, and of course cats. we then explored the armenian neighbourhoods and found a gorgeous church that was being restored.
unfortunately its walls were secured with barbed wire. we had coffee with the archeologist and men who had seen better days of the neighbourhood. buildings that had seen better days...everything was skeletal...i was overcome with a feeling of sadness. i felt nourished when we went into another church and lit a candle. i had consciously blocked out what appeared ugly to me...there is negativity in the news, on the streets, in the faces of people and i had blocked it out to keep me safe...this was how i shielded myself against thinking negatively about humanity and it disturbed me. how much longer could i go on "shielding"? 
we sat down for tea while walking back from yenikapi to karakoy. makeshift tea sellers, chicken and rice vendors, balloons-and-beercans-in-the-sea-and-rifle-to-shoot-with-games, families out for a walk, tourists sun bathing on the rocks, random fake perfume sellers...we had tea with a simitci (man who sells leavened bread with sesame seeds on top) who claimed to have figured out the holy books. i was actually impressed with the fact that he had decided he accepted everyone the way they were whatever faith they embraced. he said that turkey needed a scientist to proove everything in the books was true. he said he had concluded that the 8 heavens spoken of in islam was 8 planets that humanity was going to be transferred to in whatever form after judgement day. he appeared to be at peace with this notion and neither of us were going to dispute it with him. tea with the simitci was definitely a chat i will not be forgetting anytime soon.
this is istanbul.
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